Meet Ashley.
Trigger/Content Notice: Mentions of suicidal ideation.
Hi! I love to dance, be with amazing people & educating silly hearing people by running them over if they ask “do Deaf people drive?”
The Beginning of Something Special
So I was born Deaf—and my parents were clueless until one day, I was asleep as a baby in my crib and the smoke alarm went off. It was out of nowhere due to a battery or something of the sort. When they checked on me, I was still sound asleep. They didn’t think any of it and thought it was weird then shrugged it off. Fast forward, my parents went on a date to see Mr. Holland’s Opus, and there’s a part in the movie similar to what happened when I was a baby. My parents looked at each other and said “That’s exactly what happened with Ashley”. They took me to get my hearing tested and found out I was born deaf. They were freaking out, frantically trying to figure out how to give me the best life they could.
So they gave me my first pair of hearing aids when I was about 7-8 months old (I think, I could be wrong on that, but I was definitely still a baby). They were crying. I was crying—not liking how things are. Then when they turned on the hearing aids, I stopped crying. I heard my parents say “I love you” for the first time and looked at them.
Accepting Who I Am
Growing up, I went to mainstream school and had an IEP. I loved making friends, and playing a lot at recess in elementary school. I made a few Deaf friends and had amazing teachers that were willing to accommodate as needed, as well as amazing ASL interpreters. But I was also picked on for being different. I was embarrassed to be Deaf, especially as I went into middle school. I was afraid I’d be picked on like I was in elementary school. I never truly embraced being Deaf, being in both worlds. Yet I never felt like I fit in either world. I wasn’t Deaf enough to be a part of the Deaf world, and I wasn’t hearing enough to be a part of the hearing world. It got to a point where I was struggling mentally and was admitted to the hospital. Now, I feel like I’m a part of both worlds. I grew up with hearing aids all my life and recently opted to get a cochlear implant surgery on my right ear (my right ear was my worst ear). Once the implant was activated, everything sounded like bells and trumpets. Even music sounded that way, and I was a huge music addict.
Enjoying Myself & My Hobbies
It’s been almost 4 months since the implant was activated, and I’m already understanding people, depending on the background noise, with only the implant on. I still wear my hearing aid in my left ear, and the implant on my right. I still struggle with depression and PTSD today. However, I have been so much happier and love where I am. I even find myself picking up what song is playing while I’m out line dancing!
Finding Peace
My advice to the younger deaf individuals reading this, is to keep on going. Find reasons to keep going—like waiting for the next book series, the next album from your favorite band or artist, your pet, a friend, or family. You name it. Life is absolutely worth sticking around for. If I had succeeded in attempting, I would never have met the most amazing people I know now. I wouldn’t have found a hobby I truly love. I am surrounded by the best support from the best people I know. Who cares if people are judging you, or being mean to you? They’re just jealous they can’t be Deaf like us! Be proud, you are unique and deserve the best!
Thank you for reading and getting to know me! A reminder to follow me @ashley.nation14 & @forthedeafgirl on Instagram! If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicidal ideation, please review this list of resources here, and consult a licensed medical professional. You are not alone.
