Meet Jess.
Hi! My name is Jess but some people call me Bambi. I lost my hearing 2.5 years ago and have bilateral moderately severe hearing loss. I hope you’ll stay along for the ride!
I was born 10 weeks premature and from what the doctors could tell I was more or less healthy aside from my asthma.
Fast forward to 2.5 years ago, I had noticed that I was having trouble catching words in conversation on my right side and I consistently felt this fullness in my right ear. During this time I was having awful dizzy and fainting spells accompanied by a high-pitched ringing sound.
Concerned, I made an appointment with an audiologist where it was determined that I had mild hearing loss and it was recommended to wear hearing aids. As for the other symptoms I was advised to go to an EENT to get assessed—Unfortunately, where I’m from, these appointments take a while so I wasn’t able to see an EENT until about a year after I had gotten my hearing aids.
Are you still with me? I know it’s a lot of background information but I promise I‘m trying to keep it short!
Anyways—
6 months later I was starting to have the same symptoms but in both ears and the pressure felt worse! It felt like I was constantly underwater, or in an episode of Peanuts where the adult’s voices sound all warped. I was genuinely convinced that I had somehow gone crazy—or at least had gotten some weird cabin fever side effect as this was during COVID. So again, with a trip to the audiologist, it was there that I found out that both ears have now lost a significant amount of hearing. Both were considered moderately severe and it was suggested that I wear hearing aids in both ears.
Losing your hearing as an adult was eye-opening, to say the least. A part of me felt gutted for a really long time because I had realized that there were so many sounds that I couldn’t pick up on and that I had forgotten, I had to learn ways to accommodate not being able to hear properly and how to gracefully navigate through the stereotypes that come with being HOH/deaf. Eventually, I was able to come to terms with my hearing loss and if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I found my situation to be a blessing in so many ways.
I was always the type of person that loves cute things… Let’s be real, who doesn’t?!
I wanted them to look at it and have it be a reflection of my style. If anyone knows anything about me, I LOVE strawberries! If I could have it my way I would “strawberrify” the house…but out of respect for my husband, I have strawberry accents around our house which is good enough (for now). As you may have guessed I also “strawberrified” my hearing aids as well. I found some charms at Michaels, Hobby Lobby, and Joanns and decided to play around seeing if there was any way I could customize my hearing aids and viola! I found a way and now I have a variety of charms for whatever mood I’m feeling that day.
I came to know the Lord 6 years ago, and during the past 2.5 years God had put me in a place where He taught me to trust in Him more. I know how that must sound but the truth is, sometimes the physical action of trusting is a lot easier said than done. I struggled for awhile with my hearing loss because I could no longer hear the birds chirping in the summer mornings, the way I heard my boyfriend (now husband) voice then sounds completely different now and I won’t be able to hear our future baby cry in the middle of the night when they need me. These were a small handful of things that would go through my mind at night along with the ringing in my ears.
Then a few months ago my pastor gave a sermon about how God puts us through trials to glorify Him, and suddenly everything kind of clicked for me. I was reminded that God doesn’t make mistakes, and if my ears don’t work like they used to, it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love me or is trying to punish me. He’s using this trial as a way to a) strengthen my faith and trust in Him and b) Using this as a way to glorify Him. There’s lots of people who have it a lot better and a lot worse than I do, but it doesn’t change the fact that God has them exactly where they need to be right now, and is working through their life and in their life.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
This past Fall me and a friend from church who is also deaf decided to take ASL courses at our local university—and I’m absolutely loving it! I’m still learning, but I’m able to introduce myself, have simple conversations and describe my surroundings in ASL. I really want to immerse myself in Deaf culture and learn more about it as well as establish myself in my local Deaf community.
My hearing loss is a blessing in so many ways. I’m able to interact and relate with others in a way I’ve never been able to do before—plus, being able to have the choice to not have to hear during my morning commute is pretty sweet ;) It took a couple years but having the opportunity to meet other dDeaf and Hard of Hearing girls around my age through FTDG, my Faith, my supportive and loving husband, as well as loved ones have contributed to my hearing loss journey. I could not be more grateful for each and every one of them.
