Meet Maddie.

For The Deaf Girl – Meet Maddie W.

Hey there! My name is Maddie, and I’m Hard of Hearing. I’m currently studying ASL and Deaf education, and hope to teach ASL to school-age children. I recently started a book club with my friend. I’d love to move to the beach, or maybe Colorado. One day I hope to become fluent in ASL, and start a 100% dDeaf/ Hard of Hearing owned company. A fun fact about me is that I have small ears. I apparently have the smallest out of 4,000 people at my hearing aid center!

My hearing loss journey began when I turned 2. We went to the ENT for a scheduled ear irrigation appointment to rinse my ears. At the appointment, we discovered I had perforated eardrums. From then on I started to lose my hearing due to all the surgeries and infections.

At age 18 I had a failed tympanoplasty which led to significant hearing loss. For 2 years after I was terrified that the doctors would mess something up again. I eventually agreed to another tympanoplasty. During surgery, they discovered a bone-eating tumor which resulted in further hearing loss. I try to make light of Timmy, that's what we call my tumor, which will have to be removed every 5 to 6 years. There is a risk of a brain infection, but my boyfriend and I named it to make light of the situation. I’m also preparing for an upcoming surgery for my left ear in September.

My hearing loss, tumor, and perforations have impacted my lifestyle–both positively, and negatively. I love meeting people who have experienced the same things I have. Being able to connect with others like me is something I love. My family is hearing but has been so supportive. They want to learn more about Deaf Culture and American Sign Language and I’m forever grateful for that. Although I’ve had hearing loss my entire life, I only recently started discovering my deaf identity. I was never surrounded or exposed to anyone like me. Schools don’t teach about Deaf history or Deaf Culture.

Unfortunately living with hearing loss can be frustrating. Although my friends support me through my surgeries, I wouldn’t say they understand any of it. I can’t fly–which is not fun. I’ve dealt with discrimination because of my hearing loss and hearing aid. Hearing people get mad at me for not wearing my hearing aid. I didn’t realize how rude people would affect me. Sometimes I just don’t want to wear it. The world can be so loud and overwhelming.

The job I used to work at violated the ADA laws frequently, was rude towards the fact I wore a hearing aid and harassed my Audiologist. Through all of that, my mom has helped me stand up for myself this past year. I’m beyond grateful for my mom’s help, and her desire to learn ASL with me.

My mother has always taken care of me and supported me. She educates herself about my procedure and about my ears in general. My mom went with me to the hearing aid center this past February. She helped me choose the hearing aid I wanted and paid for it.

I currently have a hearing aid for my right ear and will have one for my left soon. I haven’t decided how I feel about it yet. I was excited to hear things I hadn’t before when I first got my first hearing aid. Now I’m unsure if I like wearing it. I feel like it assists hearing people more than dDeaf or Hard of Hearing people. I have come to realize I don’t always like hearing things. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to hear everything. It makes me anxious. Sometimes I wear it but use the noise-canceling feature.

I identify as Hard of Hearing and would say I’m exploring my Deaf identity. This community has helped me connect with other dDeaf or Hard of Hearing women. This community has given me a safe space to not only connect with others but to share experiences and I’m so grateful for that.

Don’t ever look at something as what you can’t do but as something you can do. Surround yourself with people who understand and support you. If you don’t have this within reach–go look for it. This community is very kind and welcoming. There will always be someone out there that will support you. I would love to connect and support other dDeaf & Hard of Hearing friends looking for community.

I appreciate you taking the time to read my story. If you would like to read other testimonies like mine, make sure to follow me @maddieravae and @forthedeafgirl on Instagram!